The confusion, helplessness and sadness that was in me when I came here to Männiku holiday farm is completely gone.
I am possessed of the utmost care and happiness. How could it be otherwise if I am surrounded by healers who do good in every movement, word, and gaze.
Can you imagine what a bliss it is to spend an entire week with women and men whose life calling is to make you feel good?
And I don’t mean a job (although most people have a full-time job) I mean a VOCATION OF LIFE. Their biggest driver (pushing force) is to create harmony and balance, while they do it MEGA well.
Relief also occurs when in the massage I surrender to discomfort
Yesterday ended magically again. Kati created us some paradise,
with a small altar in the middle and mattresses around it, on which we weighed three pieces. A massage evening started, where everyone received a massage from two healers at the same time. HEAVEN!
We have opened ourselves hard to breathe here, which is why our intuition and general body sensitivity are very high.
So the massage offer is extremely enjoyable because every movement is exactly right and necessary. I left my order to last, and to my great surprise, my body was really more sensitive than ever.
I also caught a moment where usually, when such a tickling and a little unpleasant feeling arose, this time I consciously released myself and breathed into it. There was another very awesome release.
Special sensations in the body with vibrations, contractions and tremors.
One of my partners massaged my arm and I was already starting to say that I don’t like to hear from you. In reality, however, I kept myself tense and did not allow the energy I wanted to release due to control freak. Instead, I relaxed and felt feelings I had never experienced before. It was all so special that I felt like I was getting a massage for the first time in my life.I met the women scientists in a dream Of course, I still had a lot of sleep after that. I had a strange dream where I was somewhere in the room between the doors and a middle-aged lady read my palm and shouted with joy to the ladies behind me that I was from a family of souls. I don’t remember the exact name, but it was supposed to be a terrible awesome (soul) family with old teachers / healers souls. I remember that was horrible important news. Then someone massaged my shoulder and I woke up feeling a loud moan because my shoulder was terribly sore. When I woke up, I thought I had fallen asleep on it and it had cramped. I turned the other side and fell asleep again.
Je jee, my favorite Kundalini meditation
We started the morning at 7.15 with the OSHO Kundalini meditation, which I and the German lady instructed together.
This meditation has completely become my favorite and pure. I can instruct you in a dream.
This meditation has brought a lot of closeness to our true selves, desires, needs and way of life into the lives of me and many friends.
It was so nice to shake off the energies inside the grass of the early morning dew and then dance up to the heights.
During Phases 3 and 4, the morning sun caressed her cheeks so tenderly that she could have stayed there, really feeling one with the universe. Am I star dust and the air of the universe ?!
(I note that I am constantly very reluctant to use the word mine, me, me, etc.)
The body of today’s session was already afraid:
We agreed with Kristi a few days ago that we would be a couple during the pelvic session. I felt that he could help me the most. I needed to get rid of the subconscious shame, guilt, pain, and fear that had accumulated in my diaphragm and pelvis as a result of various events. We took the session with seriousness, inviting angels and guides with the higher self to help us get rid of as much as possible at that moment. We started the session with guided meditation, which already attracted my body. We made a connection between the heart and the uterus and sent my mother to the earth for purification, which is not for my higher good. I felt like I had a vacuum under my butt and my body was moving. I am generally very flexible on my legs, but today it was so painful when he massaged the inside of my thigh during the session. When he asked me if I was ready to let go of that pain, and I said yes, I did, there was an expansion and an opening.
Sometimes the trauma is too painful to face
A lot of things happened during the session and not all of them will be mentioned here. It was a very deep process, during which I even had difficulty staying in the body because some inner wall came up and I wanted to disappear. Facing the pain was probably too scary for some of me. Losing it means no longer breathing properly and no attention in the body. This means that there was a kind of trauma ahead that the body still holds tight.
After a very intense process, I was fell asleep under the three oaks that were supporting me, for a moment. In a dream I saw a classmate who was close to my journey and he told me something wrong in his dream. About that I’m still a particularly pointless mole or something. But I had a lot of it. His opinion or feeling did not matter to me at all, despite the fact that I have great respect for him. I got full and got rid of letting other people’s moods affect my self-image.
Angels came to rescue
Kriste, as an angel therapist, could say that the healing and abundant angel Rafael, in his green light, had come to the aid of my uterus, and Samuel, with her pink light, had come to inject unconditional love. He himself was surprised that this was the case, because it had never happened before in a breathing session. Probably our application and invitation helped. Definitely helped.
I couldn’t return a session …
… because I still had everything inside me and I desperately needed to ground. I went and sat in the evening sun with a warm bare… butt against the grass to send all into the mother earth to the ground for cleaning, which is not part of my pelvis. Accompanied by a soft pat of the wind, I also made a small pee in the forest and took a shower with a water element. Then I lit a candle and went back under the three oaks, where the companions were in the process of their liberation, smoking incense. I supported some of the sessions, played a little shamanic and I was grateful to be on such a beautiful journey.